It seems that the NSA is everywhere. Im sure any new detail regarding the NSA’s probing into your electronic communications would not comes as a surprise, especially since the Snowden fiasco. While many were outraged its not a stretch to imagine a government agency trying to grab any and all electronic information. What is not ever considered is the same agency injecting itself into our kid’s lives. This is a proactive attempt at getting children familiar with NSA and is done so that it is an entity that is either a force for good, or just an expected player in everyday life.

And they arent hiding it at all…

(You cant use Freezepage because its https…purposely. So the pages have been screen capped)

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What I find disturbing and scary is that this site sort of becomes your kids cyber-buddy. Check the wording on the tips that are given about kids protecting themselves online. Its not written with the same dry, bullet-pointed “Do’s & Don’ts”. Take the “Cyber Courteous section’s wording for example:

“It is too easy to hide behind a computer! A cyber smart person never says anything online that they wouldn’t say in person. Remember that what you write in an email can usually be retrieved and shared with others, so be responsible with emails, chats, and online communications. ”

Isnt that a weird way to promote “courtesy”? Actually, it seems to have nothing to do with “courtesy” but rather its a reminder to watch your ass solely because what you say can come back to bite you later. If this was really about courtesy it should say “It is too easy to hide behind a computer! So make sure that the same respect you give in person follows you online.” And then they could point out that its cowardly and hurtful, and also a form a bullying, when courtesy is not applied online”. But this is exactly what I mean about the NSA trying to be a friend of your child; the dry, paternal bullet-points are gone. Instead, they sound like a kid next to them in class…”Hey dude, watch out what you say to [insert name here] because they hold onto it forever. Better make a fake profile and send it from there.”

I wish this post was only about a cheesy NSA web page that was created to tick a bunch of boxes thought up in a quick round-table meeting with a handful of low-rank government employees with some sort of education related degree. This is just an introduction with more to follow. I hate to use a tortured, old, and familiar cliche but this is really just the tip of the iceberg. So stick around. The “Spy Kids” story is going to get a little interesting. And then its going to get creepy.