It’s about time. The hacker extraordinaire Guccifer has been hitting high-profile targets and producing some valuable and informative evidence in his exploits. But the feeling of each op left me with the impression that he was a fairly humorless, stoic, individual. And who knows, maybe he really is some super serious tight-ass. But a recent release of his makes me think that there is a glimmer of hope.

Here is the direct link to the pdf on DocStoc. I advise downloading it because DocStoc does not present the pdf correctly; pictures are scrunched up to fit into their parameters.

In case you missed it, Guccifer got his hands on emails between one Roy Apseloff and two females; who undoubtedly are turned on by ugly men that have acquired a marginal amount of power. Apseloff, as the Defense Intelligence Agency’s profile states that Apseloff was:

(Clicking any pic takes you to the full Guccifer pdf)

apseloff_bio

*Side note: “National Media Exploitation Center“? Yikes. Wtf is that? I think what is more disturbing here is that it is directly tied into the Intelligence Community, as stated in the bio. Those in the intel community know just how crucial a role the DIA plays. “Although DIA does not always get the credit, it provides many services and expertise across the Intelligence Community.” even seems like an understatement considering what follows and is outlined in the DIAA Journal’s section that highlights Apseloff’s VISION 2020 program. (page 3) Full Document Here.

We are going to Pump...your sluts!
We are going to Pump…your sluts!

(Clicking the pics take you to the entire Guccifer release)

Anyway. It seems that Sarah Chance and Marlys Norby are super hawt for Apseloff and his bod. I made the mistake of reading the emails backwards, but still laughed heartily when one of the girls seems to be turned on by Apseloff’s joke about hitting the gym and his girlfriend “hard and often”. Normal girls would try to e-flirt by saying they were turned on by him hitting the gym. But not the sluts that are attracted to Ol’ Roy. Nope. The girls that seek him out seem to like the idea of him knocking around other broads.

apseloffedit
Hey Roy, if you come over you can meet my lonely son and his dog. Then you can pop me off!

 

hitting the girlfriend hard and often turns Sarah on. Who knew?
hitting the girlfriend hard and often turns Sarah on. Who knew?

 

Dear Roy, I know I'm not going to find love on a website so I've given up. I was hoping to go work for NASA when they had a hiring binge two years ago but Obama canceled the "Sluts in Space" program. So...now, Im really wrapped up in work I absolutely love at the VA. Btw, here's a pic of my cock-sock. You can have it if you like. Cheers, Marlys
Dear Roy, I know I’m not going to find love on a website so I’ve given up. I was hoping to go work for NASA when they had a hiring binge two years ago but Obama canceled the “Sluts in Space” program. So…now, Im really wrapped up in work I absolutely love at the VA. Btw, here’s a pic of my cock-sock. You can have it if you like. Cheers

 

marlys_lingerie

I encourage everyone to download the original file from Guccifer because there it contains all the sexting style emails that are embarrassingly dirty; even I felt a little embarrassed and I’ve sent a few similar emails in my time. Also, there is other critical intel if you look closely enough. I am all about grabbing, categorizing, and storing data. Recent Guccifer releases are treasure troves (as with all of them)

It should be noted that this came to me courtesy of Cryptome. However, I’m not sure if Cryptome realized that Roy Apseloff’s twin brothers are pictured, one we have identified as Glenn Apseloff, President of Ohio Clinical Trials. Who, according to his LinkedIn profile under “Languages”,  speaks “Spanish and French but [is] not fluent”. Which translates into “I’ve jerked off while watching Super Sabado Gigante on Univision.” And as far as it goes for French, he has probably been to France, and successfully made it back to his hotel after being out late clubbing in Paris, without accidentally purchasing heroin. Roy, center below, verifies inthe emails in the full document that his brother in fact is a doctor. Glen is pictured below on the right.

This is just creepy. I would think a site like this would instantly turn a chic dryer than the Sahara.
This is just creepy. I would think a site like this would instantly turn a chic dryer than the Sahara.

 

welcomeImage

To me, this type of hack is poetic justice. These folks want to peer into our lives, violate our privacy, and store the info forever? Well, your closets don’t just have a skeleton or two. Yours are full service graveyards complete with groundskeepers and headstones. We will continue to jump the wall or pick the gate lock in order to put your secrets on display for all to see.

DMS