A new threat to Egypt’s stability: More horrible cars

Egypt’s current situation is no laughing matter. But its about to get worse thanks to the Russians. Today Real Clear Politics had a video that showed Vladimir Putin having trouble starting Europe’s “cheapest car”. It’s the Lada Granta. The Lada line includes the worst car in history, the Lada Riva. There are still a ton of these wretched cars in north Africa. As a matter of fact North Africa is where all failed auto models go. (future home of the Chevy Volt) But new developments give this story the potential to be hilarious.

First off, the Lada line is produced by AutoVAZ. They have a factory in Egypt which they rent from Suzuki. Last month AutoVAZ announced that it would expand in north Africa. From the release: “The expansion of the brand in foreign markets is likely to take place in both Egypt, where AutoVAZ is said to plan the expansion of the local facility and even building a new one near Jordan, and in South America”. Notice they say “the local facility” not “their” facility. That is owned by Suzuki.

Nothing but the best for Egypt

The Lada line of cars is so notoriously bad that it was featured multiple times on the UK tv show Top Gear; where it lost a race to a dog…seriously. Also named one top ten cars that should never have been built (Hysterical video below) The Muslim Brotherhood is rising in power in Egypt, and maybe an influx of more bad cars will cause them to focus on developing stronger forces in the Caucuses to fight Russia for this great injustice. After all, the rag-tag terrorists like Hunafa could use some help. They literally spend all day in the woods walking around with machine guns and Korans. (Go check their site, Im not kidding)

Top Gear Communist Cars (Must See-Hysterical)

Avenge Injustice!!

Will the radicals seek to avenge the great injustice of having more shitty cars? Probably not. The North African car market is the equivalent of the “island of misfits toys” and they have been getting the worlds junk for, well, a long time. And they may be complacent. But if the jihadis decide to take up this cause then these are the jerks that will be doing the fighting.

Caucus Radical Losers

The video opens with a quote from the Koran taken from Surah 3 verse 140. “If ye have received a blow, the (disbelieving) people have received a blow the like thereof. (This refers to Badr) These are (only) the vicissitudes which We cause to follow one another for mankind, to the end that Allah may know those who believe and may choose witnesses (martyrs) from among you; and Allah loveth not wrong-doers” In italics are the footnotes from the Pickthall English translation; the only translation approved by Islamic scholars

When he is being buried (1:40) the verse cited is the Qu’ran verse surah 9:111 which I quote “Lo! Allah hath brought from the believers their lives and their wealth because the Garden (Eden) will be theirs: they shall fight in the way of Allah and shall slay the and be slain. It is a promise which is binding on Him int the Torah and the Gospel and the Qu’ran. Who fulfilleth his covenant better than Allah? Rejoice then in your bargain that ye have made, for that is the supreme triumph.